Marriage has rules? Rules that you can break! To my suprirse the 10 rules listed are the 10 that once upon a time were very important.
So if you have broken one or more of these rules don’t fret looks like your on the way to a healthy marriage.
1. Don’t go to bed angry – Trying to work through a problem when you’re tired and stressed won’t get you anywhere, says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D. “Agree to disagree for now, and to revisit the issue when you’re rested.” – Thank God. How many times I have gone to bed angry. I did feel to tired to continue the battle, the only problem is I would forget about the issues when I woke up. So I guess it was never that important.
2. Always be 100% Honest – in marriage, no-holds-barred honesty is not always the best policy. “You don’t need to share details of past relationships,” says Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW. The bottom line: You need to be polite and caring when it comes to your partner’s feelings. – Wow, this is great. I always thought that to much honesty can be more harmful than helpful. I really don’t want to know to much of the past. Do you?
3. Never Vacation without each other -The received wisdom here is that if you have time off from your jobs and lives, you should naturally prefer to spend it together. The danger, says Dr. Lombardo, is the belief “that you have to be each other’s everything, and that’s just not realistic.” – Not sure I agree with this one, but if you take an occasional trip with girlfriends that may work, but always doing it in my book can be asking for trouble. Now this is me talking.
4. If you fight your headed for Divorce – Actually, says Bartlein, research shows that couples who never fight — assuming that means they’re holding back to avoid conflict — are more likely to split. – Totally agree. It was always the couple that never fought that would break up.
5. Always put the kids first -Making your relationship top priority is better — not just for you, but for your children, who need to see you in charge and who feel safer and more secure with parents who have a loving relationship. –Yep, this is a big thing. Your children should never trump your husband. It is about you and him and the rest falls into place. Remember children grow then they go.
6. Never sleep in separate beds – It’s a myth that couples always sleep better and more cozily together than apart. So if one of you occasionally decamps to the guest room, don’t sweat it. – An occasional sleep away never hurt. I think the key word is occasional.
7. Partners should sync up their hobbies -Giving up your passions is akin to forgoing your independence, and “without independence in a marriage people feel trapped,” says Bartlein. Pursue your separate interests and find activities you both enjoy. – Never give up your passions. But I think finding something that you both enjoy together never hurts. Even if it is just watching T.V.
8.If there is no spark your doomed – Many still believe that when the spark dies out, it means they’re in the wrong relationship, and should seek something new,” says Bartlein. Long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust, out of which grows love. – Totally true. Love is based on trust and commitment to each other, which gives love strength.
9.boring is bad – The problem with this so-called rule, says Bartlein, is when couples confuse a calm, predictable union with a bad one. A drama-filled relationship may feel exciting, but in the long run it’s not likely to be healthy. – Boring is good. I use to always want to go and do something, now I just want to stay put, and enjoy the quiet boredom together.
10.You should have sex with you partner to make him happy -“Sex becomes yet another item on your to-do list, and you think you have to do it for the sake of your marriage and the happiness of your spouse,” says Dr. Lombardo. While neither of those reasons is wrong, they shouldn’t be the only reasons. – Ok this is good news. Sex is not always a top priority. At a certain point of your married life sex becomes something you will need to schedule.
mb
source: msn.com